Call on Us is from Sheerluck Holmes and the Golden Ruler.


Larry: If all of you are wondering what I found in all my wandering.

Here's a clue for you. I knew just what to do.

Bob: (Spoken) And, uh, me too.

Both: If a crime has been committed which makes you rather curious.

Bob: While culprits and solutions lurk, elusive and impervious.

Larry: And fancy words bewilder you and make you feel ridiculous.

Both: The crime will not be solved until you grab the phone and call on-

Larry: Me! Just call 1-800-Sheerluck. Operators are standing by.

Both: We're so thorough in our searching as we sift and sort and sleuth for clues.

Bob: With faculty for skirting any felon's oft deceptive ruse.

Larry: What? Uh, we never leave the job except to snack and maybe take a snooze.

Both: Offenders best surrender cuz' eventually they're sure to lose!

Bob: (Spoken) It's all probability, really. You see, given that logic and deduction are on our side, a criminal stands a highly diminished chance of succeeding in his misdeed.

Larry: Criminals, what are they thinking?

Both: So if a criminal commits a crime who's hiding in his secret lair.

He thinks the crime was perfect but of certain facts he's unaware.

He's left a print, a nudge, a smudge, a lock of hair upon the stair.

We'll find the clue and track him down and trap him in his secret lair!

Larry: It seems they're always in their secret lair.

Larry: The lesson here for all to see is really rather obvious: When Sheerluck Holmes is on a case-

Jerry: It's sure to be melodious!

Bob: In the course of litigation our opposers pleas are tenuous.

Larry: Following your fancy talk is getting rather strenuous.

Both: The crime will not be solved until you grab the phone, wait for the tone, and call on-

Larry: Me!

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