Call on Us is from Sheerluck Holmes and the Golden Ruler.
Larry: If all of you are wondering what I found in all my wandering.
Here's a clue for you. I knew just what to do.
Bob: (Spoken) And, uh, me too.
Both: If a crime has been committed which makes you rather curious.
Bob: While culprits and solutions lurk, elusive and impervious.
Larry: And fancy words bewilder you and make you feel ridiculous.
Both: The crime will not be solved until you grab the phone and call on-
Larry: Me! Just call 1-800-Sheerluck. Operators are standing by.
Both: We're so thorough in our searching as we sift and sort and sleuth for clues.
Bob: With faculty for skirting any felon's oft deceptive ruse.
Larry: What? Uh, we never leave the job except to snack and maybe take a snooze.
Both: Offenders best surrender cuz' eventually they're sure to lose!
Bob: (Spoken) It's all probability, really. You see, given that logic and deduction are on our side, a criminal stands a highly diminished chance of succeeding in his misdeed.
Larry: Criminals, what are they thinking?
Both: So if a criminal commits a crime who's hiding in his secret lair.
He thinks the crime was perfect but of certain facts he's unaware.
He's left a print, a nudge, a smudge, a lock of hair upon the stair.
We'll find the clue and track him down and trap him in his secret lair!
Larry: It seems they're always in their secret lair.
Larry: The lesson here for all to see is really rather obvious: When Sheerluck Holmes is on a case-
Jerry: It's sure to be melodious!
Bob: In the course of litigation our opposers pleas are tenuous.
Larry: Following your fancy talk is getting rather strenuous.
Both: The crime will not be solved until you grab the phone, wait for the tone, and call on-