Larry's High Silk Hat (Classy Songs with Larry)

Uncle Sam's High Silk Hat is the Silly Song from the Lyle the Kindly Viking. It is sung to the popular Italian tune "Funiculi, Funicula".

Lyrics

Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Uncle Sam, the part of the show-

Archibald: Stop! Stop! Don't even think about it! As if Omlet wasn't bad enough. Ahem. Phileppe, Jean-Claude!

Small and Big: Oui!

Narrator: Uhh... Ahem. And now it is time for Classy Songs with Uncle Sam, the part of the show where Uncle Sam comes out and sings a classy song.

Archibald: (sings) One day, while he was waiting for the trolly, he had a hat.

Uncle Sam: My high silk hat.

Archibald: He wore it high upon his head so proudly, a beautiful hat.

Uncle Sam: My high silk hat.

Archibald: A hat like this just makes him feel so grandly. Now fancy this and fancy that. The splendor of his hat in all it's majesty.

Uncle Sam: Like a king, in a royal cap! I feel so swell and handsome in my hat. I bet that others wish they had in fact -

Uncle Sam and Archibald: A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so high, a high silk hat!

Uncle Sam: Oh, Crooky Art Bigotti, now whaddya think of that?

Archibald: Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly, I must in fact share more than that. For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly, of chocolate this -

Uncle Sam: And chocolate that.

Archibald: Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy, a chocolate bliss.

Uncle Sam: A chocolate snack.

Crooked: Confections such as these are more than candy, so one might buy a box of that.

Uncle Sam: I have my chocolate placed upon my lap. I feel so good you just cannot help that. I have my snack, a chocolate pack of chocolate this and chocolate that! Oh golly, Pointy. Nezzer, now whaddya think of that?

Archibald: Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter upon his hat -

Crooked: And chocolate snack.

Archibald: So beneath his hat he thought and pondered:

Uncle Sam: What should I do to save my hat?

Archibald: He thought and contemplated as he perspired, beneath his hat -

Crooked: Upon his snack.

Archibald: He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire into a pool.

Crooked: A chocolate vat.

Uncle Sam: I won't feel grand if I take off my hat. The sun's gettin' hot and my hat just might go flat. My hat, it might go flat, and my sweets will melt like that! Oh, hurry mister trolly, before my dapperness goes flat.

Archibald: He decided to forgo his looks so dashing to save his hat -

Big: And little snack!

Archibald: So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him -

Pointy Nezzer: And put his hat on top of that.

Uncle Sam: Oh please.

Crooked: Oh please, oh please!

Uncle Sam: Don't anybody sit close to me, upon my hat. I ask if all of you could be so kindly and just stand back, away from my snack!

(King Twistimer sits on Uncle Sam's hat and chocolates.)

A great big squash just sat upon my hat! A great big squash just squished my hat real flat! He squashed my hat, he made it flat, he squished my snack, oh what of that?! Oh, tell me, anybody, now whaddya think of that?

Pointed: A great big squash just sat upon his hat! A great big enormous squash squished his hat real flat! He squashed his hat, he made it flat, he squished his snack, oh what of that!

(The trolly arrives and all get on except Uncle Sam. Bright walks up.)

Uncle Sam: Oh, golly! Uh, what's your name?

Bright: They've never given me a name. I've been around since show one and I still don't have a name!

Narrator: This has been Classy Songs with Uncle Sam. Tune in next time to hear Uncle Sam sing:

Uncle Sam: Now whaddya think of that?