My Baby Elf is the Silly Song from Lord of the Beans.


Narator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Elves, the part of the show where Ear-A-Corn comes out and sings, a silly song for elves.

Larry: I asked my baby, my baby elf. A couple questions about myself. If I was handsome, if I was nice. I was lookin' for her advice. She looked at me and shook her head, and this is what she said:

Elf: (Subtitles: Do I know you? What did you say? Green one go away! Be silent! Green one! Green one go away! Go kiss a spork! Stop that! Help!)

Larry: She yelled so loud, she hurt my ears. My eyes are welled up all full of tears. But I don't mind none, 'cause she's my elf. My elfity, babity, babity, babity, babity, babity, babity elf. When I go walkin' all by myself, I'm busy thinkin' about my elf. I keep her picture upon my shelf. I'm always dreamin' about my elf. I won't forget the way that she says those words to me.

Elf: (Subtitles: When do you leave? Much wind pours from your mouth! Do you feel well? Are you finished? Be silent! I leave now to do laundry.)

Larry: Don't know exactly what she said, just know it kinda hurts my head. I'll take an aspirin, 'cause she's my elf. My elfity, babity, boopity, babity, babity...

Jimmy: (cuts Larry off) Hold on a minute!

(Music stops)

Larry: Huh? What? What? What? What are you doin'? (Jimmy pulls off Larry's fake elf ears) Ouch! Hey!

Jimmy: I knew it, I knew it!

Larry: What?

Jimmy: You should be ashamed of yourself. You're no elf! You're an elvish impersonator! You sicken me, deceitful one!

Larry: Oh, right. Like you're a real elf. Give the gourd a bow and arrow and he's a real elf!

Narrator: This has been Silly Songs for Elves.

Jimmy: Behold, Leg-O-Lamb! Have at thee, my bow shall sing with your pompadour!

Larry: Don't you point that thing at me! Help!

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