Oh, Santa!

Oh, Santa! is a Silly Song released on the The Toy That Saved Christmas VHS/DVD.

Lyrics

Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings, a silly song. It's Christmas Eve, and Larry is anxiously awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus with a plate of cookies.

Larry: Oh, Santa, I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come and I've got cookies. Three yummy cookies. Just for you for when you come. Oh me, for you for when you come, because it's Christmas. (the door is knocked on three times) Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me?

Narrator: Larry is surprised to be greeted not by Santa, but a crafty bank robber.

Larry: Who are you?

Scallion #1: I'm a bank robber! And I've come to rob your bank. Oh, yes! I've come to rob your bank, and I've come to take your dimes and swipe your nickels. So stand back, step aside you silly pickle! And let me in.

Narrator: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas, Larry makes an offering.

Larry: I'm not a banker, I have no bank, my robbing friend, but I have cookies, three yummy cookies. And I don't have nickels, but please take this, my robbing friend. Eat one of these, my robbing friend. They are for Santa, but you may have one.

Narrator: The bank robber is truly touched by Larry's good will but Larry, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing Santa.

(Larry and Scallion #1 sing simultainiously)

Larry: Oh, Santa, I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come, and I've got cookies. Two yummy cookies. Just for you for when you come, oh me, for you for when you come.

Scallion #1: I'm a robber! I came to rob your bank, oh yes! I came to rob your bank. You shared a cookie. A yummy cookie. Though I'd love to take your dimes, perhaps another time.

Both: Because it's Christmas.

(Three more knocks on the door)

Larry: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me?

Narrator: Once again, it is not Santa who has come to Larry's door, but this time a savage Norseman.

Larry: Who are you?

Pa Grape: I'm a viking! And I've come to take your land, oh yes! I've come to take your land. And I've come to burn your crops and steal your horses. And I've come to step on your chickens. And soil your quilts! Oy, oy.

Narrator: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Larry makes an offering.

Larry: I don't have land, I don't have crops, my viking friend, but I have cookies. Two yummy cookies. And I don't have horses, but please take this, my viking friend. Eat one of these, my viking friend. They are for Santa, but you may have one.

Narrator: The viking is also touched by Larry's good will, but Larry's thoughts are still with Santa.

(Larry and Pa Grape sing simultainiously)

Larry: Oh, Santa, I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come, I've got a cookie. A yummy cookie. Just for you for when you come, oh me, for you for when you come.

Pa Grape: I'm a viking! I came to take your land, oh yes! I came to take your land. You shared a cookie. A yummy cookie. Though I'd love to soil your quilts, I don't think that I wilt.

Both: Because it's Christmas.

(Three more knocks on the door)

Larry: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me!

Narrator: Larry is greeted now by an agent of the Internal Revenue Service.

Larry: Who are you?

The Peach: I'm from the IRS. And I've come to tax your- (Larry shuts the door)

Larry: Oh, Santa, I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come.

(Bob pops out of the chimney)

Larry: It's finally Santa! It's finally him! At last the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me!

Bob: I'm Santa, and I've come to bring you gifts, oh yes! I've come to bring you gifts. And I've come to stuff your stockings, oh ho ho ho. And I've come to jiggle my belly, and wiggle my nose. (Spoken to Pa Grape and Scallion #1) Hey, wait a minute. Isn't that my belt? And what are you doing with my hat? So you're the ones!

Scallion #1: Wait a minute, I can explain!

Pa Grape: We've changed!

Bob: Nobody messes with Santa, you know that, don't you? You've been very naughty and I've got a list!

(Bob chases Scallion #1 and Pa Grape out the door)

(The Peach enters)

The Peach: Did you claim that? (Larry shakes his head, and the Peach takes the cookie and exits.)

Larry: Merry....Christmas!