Sumo of the Opera is a TBN episode.


Bob: Hi kids, I'm Bob the Tomato, welcome to VeggieTales. Now Larry won't be with us today, he's helping out some kids in a toy drive. He agreed to volunteer his time to help kids who normally don't much and I think that's great. God loves it when we help others. Now Larry thought you might miss him so he asked me to introduce you to his special friend.

Lutfi: Hello, I am Lutfi, the kindly teensy weeny cucumber.

Bob: Well, hi Lutfi, do you want to say hi to the kids?

Lutfi: Oh yes. Hello children. I am friendly and I am kind. And I am teensy weensy.

Bob: That's right. And since Larry is away, you're gonna help with the show. Right, Lutfi?

Lutfi: Oh, yes. Even though I am teensy weensy, I can be a great big helper.

Bob: Well, let's get start-- (phone ringing) Uh, I'm sorry. Will you excuse me for a moment? Cover me, Lutfi.

Lutfi: Um... Lata da la la la la tada! It is I, Lutfi! The kindly teensy-weensy Cucumber! (pause) Indeed I am!

Bob: Larry - I was just telling the kids about your volunteer work. We're proud of you, buddy! That's a great thing you're doing! God likes it when we... (pause) Uh, not doing what? (pause) Huh? What happened? (pause for 10 seconds) Ahh... (pause for 7 seconds) But... (pause for 6 seconds) You can't quit now!

Lutfi: Perhaps Lutfi can help!

Bob: Not now, Lutfi. Larry, just think of all the kids you can help today - and, remember, you gave your word! You need to persevere!

Lutfi: Yes! You need to...

Bob: Lutfi. Let me handle this.

Bob: What's what?

Bob: Well, perseverance is just a big word that means to "keep on keepin' on"--even when it's hard! I know that quitting and coming home would be easier, but many things worth doing take hard work! Don't you want to be a "finisher?"

(paused for 5 seconds)

Lutfi: Lutfi is a great big helper!

Larry: One quarter, Bob. That's all I got!

Bob: All right, buddy! Hang on! Roll film!

[Sumo of the Opera]

Sumo Men Choir: If you want to know who we are?

We are wrestlers of Japan!

On many a mat and ring!

For many a sumo fan!

Behold The Sumo Champion Wrestler;

A massive gourd and holder of the title.

Many have tried, but none have beaten him;

A fact that is particularly vital."

Defer! Defer!

To the sumo champion wrestler!

Defer! Defer! To the champion, to the champion

To the champion sumo wrestler!

Apollo Gourd: [Laughing]

Jim Gourdly: Champion San! Champion San! Jim Gourdly from ESN, the Emperor Sports Network. Apollo Gourd, you have a championship match coming up to celebrate the year of the scallion. Won't you dare to comment on your opponent, Po-Ta-To.

Po-Ta-To: [groans]

Apollo Gourd: Yes, I've got a Haiku for Po-Ta-To. Hmm... No way Po-Ta-To will stay in the match and linger, when I give him a Belly Ringer.

Jim Gourdly: I don't think that's actually a haiku.

Jerry: Not even close. Tell 'em.

Jim Gourdly: I'm not gonna tell 'em, you tell 'em.

Jerry: I'm not gonna tell 'em you...

Jim Gourdly: Hey, who's the clown climbing in the ring with Po Tato?

Po Tato: I pity the clown!

Scallion: Um... ah... Hey, Po, look. I'm a spring roll!

Po Tato: Pppttt! (Girly giggle) He, he, he, he...Spring Roll. I get it!

Jim Gourdly: Wait! That's no clown, it's his sparring partner, the Italian Scallion.

Jerry: Italian Scallion? He's a cucumber. How'd he get the name Italian Scallion?

Jim Gourdly: You never heard how that got started? Story goes he was raised by an onion family known as the Scallions.

Jerry: Hey!

Jim Gourdly: He never realized he was different and grew up thinking he was a scallion.

Jerry: That doesn't make sense.

Jim Gourdly: Sure it does. Plus, "Scallion" only rhymes with like 5 words and "Italian" is the catchiest.

Jerry: No, I mean the silk-screen.

Archibald: This silk-screen is a theatrical device used to make exposition more visually interesting. It's avant garde!

Mikey: Quit laughing, Po! You're supposed to be sparring with that joker.

Bobby: Mikey, you have any recycling today?

Mikey: Help yourself.

Scallion: Po, Look!

Po Tato: (screams)

Sallion: Oops.

Po Tato: "Oh, my aching back. Might as well call Workman's Comp. It's thrown out again."

Jim Gourdly: Now, that's a haiku!

Archibad: Haiku - three unrhymed lines of 5,7, and 5 syllables. Haiku.

Mikey: What are you doing, Scallion!? You're supposed to help Po train, not give him a sprain!

Scallion: Sorry. I was just joking around.

(sings to the tune of 'A Wand 'ring Minstrel, I')

Scallion: A Joking Sumo, I

a lad of quips and wisecracks

who throws his custard pies back

where whoopee cushions lie.

My shenanigans are long

through every antic ranging.

And to your humors changing,

I sing my silly sooooo-OOOOOOOONG.

(nose from mask inflates)

I sing my silly... (pop!) ...soonnnggg.

(Music ends, Scallion looks on dreamily. Mikey is nonplussed.)

Mikey: Sit down. (Mikey angrily holds up a deflated whoopee cushion.) That's your problem. You're always joking around. Look at you. You said you wanted to be a Sumo. But the minute it got hard you gave up. You got no guts, well, no gut. You're skinny. You could have had seconds, even thirds at the dinner table, you could've been big. You never finish anything, unless it's a punchline.

Scallion: Not finish anything? Name one thing I didn't finish?

Hadrian: Yo, Scallion. Did you finish fixing my bike yet? I need it for my paper route.

Scallion: Yo, Hadrian, know why the kid crossed the playground? To get to the other slide. Get it?

Mikey: You wanna list?

Po Tato: Aaaaggghhhh!

Apollo: What do you mean, Po Tato is hurt? Who did it?!?

Scallion: Ah, it was an accident.

Jim Gourdly: Champion, San, now who will you wrestle for the championship and the prize that goes with it?

(The golden bicycle, "Tiger Bike" - the designers should have fun with this!) lowers on wires into the shot. It glistens as if shot through a star filter.)

Sumo Chorus: Hi-yaaaaaaaaaahhh!

Hadrian: Wow! A Tiger Bike!

Apollo: I want the championship! I don't care about the prize!

Scallion: I won't have to finish fixing Hadrian's bike if I can have that one! win a new one! Hey, I'll take it!

Phillipe: You?!? Wrestle Apollo for the championship?!?

Scallion: Wrestle Apollo?

Apollo: Hmmm, how about this haiku? "In The Year of the Scallion, how about a bout with the Italian Scallion?"

Jim Gourdly: Closer. The champ's only off by two syllables.

Mikey: No, no. Forget it. Apollo's way out of Scallion's league.

Scallion: Hey, I knocked Po Tato out of the ring.

Mikey: He slipped on a banana peel!

Scallion: Well, It was my fault, anyway. (bravely) I owe it to Po. Tell 'em I'll take his place!

All: (Laughter)

Jim Gourdly: Come here, come here. Scallion, you're a hoot. That's the funniest joke I've ever heard. The Italian Scallion in the ring with Apollo Gourd because you want a bike?

Phillipe and Jean Claude: (Laughter)

Jean Cluade: He, he, he. That joker won't last 8 seconds in ze ring with Apollo! He, he, he...

(Looking at the Tiger Bike rising back up to the ceiling, then looking back at Scallion.)

Scallion: No, really. I accept the challenge! What could be so hard about staying in the ring for 8 seconds? I've got jokes with punch lines longer than that.

(The Sumo chorus slides into the shot and hoists Scallion overhead. They pass him along as they sing parody of 'Mikado Act two finale.')

Man 1 :He's accepted the challenge from Gourd;

Chorus: Done-Done!

Man 1: They say he's a quitter, He'd better get fitter or Scallion will surely succumb

Chorus: Cumb-Cumb!

Man 1: So tame your expressions of glee.

Man 2: On this subject we pray you be Mum.

Chorus: Mum-Mum

Man 2: You'll find they're not many. Who'll fight for a penny? This bike's worth a rather large sum

Chorus: Sum-Sum

Man 2: A very good bargain indeed

Chorus left: On this subject we pray you be mum. Mum-mum!

Chorus right: Oh this bike's worth a rather large sum. Sum-Sum!

Chorus: You'll find there are not many,

Chorus left: not many,

Chorus right: Not many

Chorus left: who'll fight for a penny

Chorus right: It's a very good bargain indeed

Chorus left: It's a very good doctor he'll need

Chorus right: As you can see a good bargain indeed,

Chorus left: As you can see a good doctor he'll need,

Chorus: Yes indeed, yes indeed! Yes indeed, yes indeed!

Mikey: Kid, why are you doing this?

Scallion: I owe it to Po. And I need that bike! I owe that to Hadrian.

Mikey: He's the champ. No one's ever stayed in the ring with him longer than eight seconds!

Scallion: There's always a first time.

Mikey: You only have two weeks to train! How do you expect to stick to it and see it through to the end?

Scallion: You could help me. You could be my trainer.

Mikey: Me?! You know, kid, in a funny kind of way you remind me of myself when I was your age. Okay, I'll do it. But you gotta promise to do everything I say, no matter how ridiculous it seems at the time. You've got to stick with it and not give up.

Scallion: Okay, I promise.

Sumo Chorus: Hiya!

Mikey: Big sweeping circles, big sweeping circles!

Scallion: This is training? I'm mopping the floor.

Mikey: It's an agility drill!

Sumo Chorus: Hiya!

(Panting heavily, Scallion bounces slowly down the street. Scallion is hopping along, crushing aluminum cans on the street. Bobby and Mikey follow alongside on a veggie rickshaw. Bobby, scoops up the crushed cans and puts them in a trash bag.)

Bobby: Love your recycling drill, Mikey.

Mikey; It teaches the most important thing any wrestler should have - a keen sense of balance.

Scallion: Aaahhh!

Mikey: Make that the second most important thing -- first, a wrestler should always watch where he's going.

Sumo Chorus: Hiya!

(Scallion is so worn out, he can only eat a few bites of food. He puts down his chopsticks. Mikey shakes his head.)

Mikey: You got to keep eating, kid! I told you getting into shape wasn't going to be easy. Here.

(Scallion grimaces at the concoction.)

Scallion: Yuck. I'm supposed to drink this!?

Mikey: Of course not. Those are raw eggs! Ya' scramble 'em.

Sumo Chorus: Hiya!

(Scallion climbs up the down escalator (which results in him getting bonked on the head by the cane of an old lady gourd, and trying to endure getting hit by bags of recyclables at the recycling center.)

Bobby: I've never heard of training for a Sumo match in a recycling center.

Mikey: It'll give Scallion a taste of what it's like to go up against Apollo.

Sumo Chorus: Hiya!

Apollo: Have you made all the arrangements for my victory party?

Jean Claude: Yes, Champ, b-but...

Apollo: And, my post game interview with Jim Gourdly?

Phillipe: Yes, Champ, b-b-but...

Apollo: But? But what?!

Phillipe: Aren't you going to train for the wrestling match?

Apollo: Train? To fight Scallion?!? He's a pushover. I could beat him in my sleep.

Chorus: Oh, the training, he says he'll do none

Chorus left: None-none!

Man with low voice: Thinks Scallion's a quitter, He won't get much fitter. In two seconds, the match will be done

Chorus left: Done-done!

Chorus: Stay tuned, This is just getting fun. Fun fun! Fun fun! So much fun!

(Mikey sits on Scallion's 'feet' as he does sit-ups and he stops. Scallion is visibly spent. He's at his low point.)

Mikey: What's a matter, kid?

Scallion: Training is tough.

Mikey: Sure it's tough. That's why it's called training! If it were easy it would be called loafing. I wanna show you something.

Scallion: Who's that clown?

Mikey: Me. When I was your age. They called me Mr. Juicy. Yeah, I goofed around like you. I never took anything seriously. But I learned you can change. Sticking it out to the end, even when it's hard, is the key. That's perseverance. I learned that working hard and finishing well can be very rewarding.

Scallion: Is that you?

Mikey; Yep. Alexander the Grape. Grand Sumo Champion 3 years running. Before my knee injury, of course.

Scallion glances down at Mikey's lower half. Mikey looks down and gives a resigned nod. Scallion has a bit of confused look, but brushes it off.

Mikey: Look. Scallion. Sometimes there's a good reason to stop and quit, but not just because it's too hard. God asks us to do lots of things that are hard. But they're good things. And they make us better people. Most things worth having take hard work! Perseverance, Scallion, perseverance.

Scallion takes in Mikey's words. What will he do? He thinks a moment, then hangs his head and heads for the door.

Scallion: That's the problem, Mikey. I don't got what it takes. Maybe that's the reason I'm always clowning around - it's the only thing I'm any good at. I'm no good at training, or wrestling... Or finishing. I'm only good at makin' with the jokes. I.... I quit.

Hadrian: Yo, Scallion!

Scallion: Yo Hadrian...

Hadrian: Why aren't you training?

Scallion: I dunno. Look, Hadrian, about the training. What's with that thing on your head?

Hadrian: I made it for Show and Tell. It's a Scallion headpiece. Like you wear. It felt great to finish it and show everyone... ya' know?

Scallion: No, I don't. I never finished any of my Show and Tell projects, so I never got up and talked to my class... Was it hard?

Hadrian: Yeah, but then I figured that if you could stick to something, So could I.

Scallion: You figured that?

Hadrian: MmmHmm.

Sumo Choir: A Sumo Can't go wrong. When he keeps on keepin' on. Put up a fight for what is right. Don't quit until you're done. Until that final bell, God loves it when we finish well...So don't stop. Just keep on keepin' on! Just keep on keepin' on!

Sumo Audience: Hey, Scallion, you quit yet? Or are you gonna wait until you get in the ring with Apollo? Yeah!

Hadrian: So, what did you wanted to tell me about your training?

Scallion: That, that I've gotta get back to it. I gotta keep my eye on the tiger!

Sumo Chorus: Hiya!

(We're back at the escalator that leads up into a mall, only this time Scallion 'jogs' up the down escalator to music. Mikey watches appreciatively, as Scallion gobbles down plates of food. With a mouth full of chop suey, Scallion chants.)

Scallion: Eye on the tiger. Eye on the tiger... It's time!

Sumo Chorus: Hiya!

Jim Gourdly: And there's the bell. The match between Apollo Gourd and the Italian Scallion is on! This is Jim Gourdly for ESN, reminding you that the first Sumo to toss his opponent out of the ring, wins.

Apollo: I'm going to bounce you out.

Scallion: Go for it!

Jim Gourdly: Don't get too comfortable, folks, the experts agree with Apollo that this match won't last more than 8 seconds. Scallion is in trouble all ready. Apollo is pushing him around the ring. Uh oh! Here it comes, fans, Apollo's infamous Belly Ringer right at the eight second mark. Ladies and gentlemen, it did not work! Apollo Gourd's Belly Ringer move didn't work! This is unbelievable! The challenger is still standing! Eight seconds have passed and The Italian Scallion is still in the ring!

Scallion: Eye on the tiger. Eye on the tiger!

Jim Gourdly: I can't believe it, the Italian Scallion belly bumped Apollo!

Mikey: Now, kid, mop the floor. Up the escalator, kid.

Jim Gourdly: Scallion, who was given absolutely no chance of lasting eight seconds is pushing Apollo toward the edge of the ring! He's going for the win! Wait, the champ is back up! Did I say unbelievable!? That's not big enough! This is... unconceivable! No... I'm not sure that's a word... it is?... Wait, folks, they're telling me "unconceivable" IS a word, but "inconceivable" is more appropriate in this instance...

(Slow motion scream then changing to regular scream)

Jim Gourdly: Oh, my. They both fell out of the ring at the same time! It's a tie! It's a tie! That means Apollo is still the champ! But then, no challenger has ever lasted that long.

Sumo Audience: He went longer than anybody! He's a winner in my book!

Scallion: I did it! I persevered! I feel GREAT!

(sings a parody of 'The Flowers That Bloom In The Spring.')

Scallion: The feeling of finishing,

All: Hiya

Scallion: Is a blossom that blooms in my heart. As I merrily dance and I sing,

All: hiya!

Scallion: I welcome the hope that it brings,

All: Hiya!

Scallion: Of finishing things that I start,

Mikey and Bobby: Of finishing things that he starts.

Apollo: And that's what he means when he says finishing...

Scallion: Is welcome as flowers that bloom in the spring.

All: "Hiya ya ya ya ya, Hiya ya ya ya ya! The flowers that bloom in the spring! Hiya ya ya ya ya, Hiya ya ya ya ya, Hiya ya ya ya yaaaaaaaa!

Jim Gourdly: Wait, folks, the story's not over!

Scallion: Yo, Hadrian! I got something for you.

Hadrian: The Tiger Bike?! You won the Tiger Bike!

Scallion: No, but they did give me the bell. And finishing is it's own reward! I feel great! Oh, one more thing. Since I'm going to be a "finisher" from now on...

Hadrian: You put my bike back together!

Scallion: Yep. It wasn't easy, well, it was easier than wrestling Apollo Gourd - but it still felt great!

Hadrian, smiles broadly as he crosses to the bike happily.

Sumo Chorus: Hi-Ya!

(The word "The End" appears and fade to black to the countertop)

Bob: Well, Larry, what do you think? Are you ready to persevere and keep on keepin' on to the toy drive?

(Telephone busy signal sound effect coming from Bob's phone)

Woman's voice on recording: If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.

Bob: Larry? Larry! Oh no, he must have ran out of quarters. I sure hope he...

Larry: Hi Bob!

Bob: Larry! You're back!

Larry: Yep! Here I am!

Bob: Well... What about the kids? I don't know how much of the story you heard, but it was p...

Larry: I pretty much heard the whole thing. Ran out of quarters right near at the end. But I had a great time with the kids, Bob! I helped give away toys, and we had sandwiches, took pictures. You should have seen the look on their faces, it was so cool!

Bob: Uh... When I heard the busy signal, I thought you'd given up.

Larry: Nope! I got right back on the subway, got off at the 81 bus, took that to the 49, grabbed a burrito, got on the 92, hopped 3 more blocks and I was there!

Bob: Wow. Sounds complicated.

Larry: But worth it!

Bob: Well what do you say we talk about what we learned today?

(The Japanese Opera version of the What We Have Learned song begins)

And so what we have learned applies to our lives today,

And God has a lot to say in His book.

(Qwerty starts steaming up and breaking down)

Bob: What happened?!

Larry: Qwerty, you okay?!

(Lutfi pops up)

Lutfi: Sorry.

Bob: Lutfi, what did you do?!

Lutfi: Lutfi fits into tiny places.

Bob: You killed Qwerty!

Lutfi: Oh, no! I did not kill him, I just made him sputter and smoke - and there is a difference.

Bob: Well, we're gonna have to get him repaired and we need a verse now! What are we gonna do?

Lutfi: Lutfi might be teensy weensy, but he is a great big helper who knows his scripture memory verses!

Larry: Memory verses?

Lutfi: Oh, yes! (pops down) You see, we know that God's word is for everyone...(humming)...we'll take a look...

(A piece of cardboard with the verse scrawled on drops from behind Qwerty over the screen.)

Lutfi: "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:36.

Larry: Wow, you're one smart teensy-weensy cucumber.

Bob: You see, Larry! God wants us to persevere - to "keep on keepin' on".

Larry: Even when it's hard, right Bob?

Bob: Especially then - that's when we need to decide to be a "finisher!" When we're trying to do something we know God would want us to do, He cares whether we finish or not. God promises that finishing has its rewards!

Larry and Lutfi: Hiya!

Bob: Well that's all the time we have for today kids - remember, God made you special.

Larry: And he loves you very much!

Lutfi: This is wonderful! So, what are we doing for our next show?

Bob and Larry: Bye!

Lutfi: Guys? Guys? Fellows?

(Training Music plays, before A Sumo Can't Go Wrong plays)

Sumo Choir: A Sumo Can't go wrong. When he keeps on keepin' on. Put up a fight for what is right. Don't quit until you're done. Until that final bell, God loves it when we finish well...So don't stop. Just keep on keepin' on! Just keep on keepin' on!

Sumo Chorus: Hiya!

(End of Transcript)

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