The Yodeling Royal Doctor of the Alps is a song inspired from The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps and narrated from a quartet made up of Archibald Asparagus, Jimmy Gourd and Jerry Gourd. King George (Larry the Cucumber) is a doctor who yodels to cure his various patients, with Louis (Bob the Tomato) as his nurse. It's also a silly song from Dipstick's End of Silliness?.
Quartet Singers (Archibald Asparagus, Jimmy and Jerry Gourd): Hm, hm, hm, hm. There lived a man so long ago his memories but faint. Wasn't admired. (Jerry) Didn't inspire (All) like president, or saint. Yet people came from far and near with their afflicted pets. For a special cure, (Jerry) they knew for sure, (All) wouldn't come from other vets. Whoooa-ooh...
King George (Larry the Cucumber): This is a song, for your poor sick penguin. He has a fever and his toes are blue. But if I sing to your poor sick penguin, he will feel better, in a day or two. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo.Ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de-doo!
(Penguin spits out thermometer)
Louis (Bob the Tomato): He went a little loopy, in case you didn't hear. Here's a couple penicillin for your sickly, arctic bird.
Quartet Singers: Mm, mm, mmmmmm... No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut, the wondrous deeds that went on in that little alpine hut. (Jimmy) Some would stand in silence while (Jimmy and Jerry) some just scratched their scalps. (All) For the curious ways of the yodeling royal doctor of the alps. Whoooa-ooh...
Louis: Good news on the penguin, doc! He's up and kicking.
King George: This is a song, for your pregnant kitty. She's looking nauseous and a week past due, but if I sing to your pregnant kitty, she will feel better in a day or two. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-ye-dee yodel-eee-ooo.Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-aye-hoo. Yada-yada yada-yada ya-ga-doo!
Pregnant Cat: Hiss!
Louis: Jump in your car, dive into the city, buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty. (hands Bob a coupon for milk)
Quartet Singers: Mm, mm, mmmmmm... (Jimmy) The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day, when the nurse who did assist the doc asked (All) for a raise in pay. (Jimmy) The doctor pondered this a while, (All) sat back and scratched his scalp. (Jimmy) Then said:
King George: No way, Jose!
Quartet Singers: To the nurse of the yodeling royal doctor of the alps. Whoooa-ohh...
Louis: Good news on the kitty doc. She feels great. Six kittens, named one after you.
Mountain Lion: Rawr!
King George: This is a song, for your mountain-ed lion. He looks un-comfy, think I'd be too. But if I sing to your mountain-ed lion, he will feel better in a day or two. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee o-lay-hee oly-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yaba-daba daba-doo!
Mountain Lion: Rawr! Rawr-ah-ar-ah.
Louis: Oh yeah. That'll work. He's good.
Mountain Lion: (roaring continually through background)
King George: Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo! No, wait! This should work! Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo yodel-leh-hoo! Ooo! Yodel-hoo!
Quartet Singers: Mm, mm, mm, mmm... Now the moral of our story, it's the point we hope we made: (Jimmy) When you go a little loopy better (All) keep your nurse well paid!
King George: (being chased from the mountain lion) Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! Yodel odle odle aye de aye de ooo-ooo-ooo!
Quartet Singers: Whooa! Some would stand in silence, while some just scratched their scalps, for the curious ways of the Yodeling Royal Doctor of the Alps!
King George: (still running from the mountain lion) Yodel-hoo!